Sime~Gen Roleplaying: Householding Naros Scenario
Episode #138: The International Language of Being Scared Silly (5/31/99)
Riyyh hurries into a small cafe local to the Tecton's District complex, hoping he isn't as late relative to Darrel as he is relative to the clock.
Darrel is sitting at one of the tiny tables, sipping a cup of a much better tea than the Sime Center stocks.
Riyyh rushes over to him.
Riyyh: Ah, Hajene Darrel! [smiling and offering an apologetic nager]
Riyyh's clothing is much toned down from the big party Nick saw him at, but even his usual look is a bit of an eye opener in Capitol.
Riyyh: I hope I haven't kept you waiting long?
Darrel: Sectuib Riyyh!
Darrel: Please, sit down.
Darrel indicates a postage-sized stool on the other side of the table.
Darrel: You look very fine.
Darrel has grown unused to sartorial extravagance since returning to the Tecton.
Riyyh beams, easily flattered.
Riyyh: Why thank you, Darrel.
Riyyh sits.
Riyyh: And you seem much more at peace, than when last we met.
Darrel: I am.
Darrel: I can't say that Controller Arat is particularly friendly, but at least one knows where one stands with him.
Darrel is, like most born followers, very interested in knowing his place.
Riyyh: Oh, dear.
Riyyh is afraid he can't argue with that.
Waiter wanders over.
Waiter: Can I take your order, Tuib?
Waiter is pert teenybopper type in a skimpy outfit.
Waiter never gets around to reading newspapers, which is why she can't distinguish a Tuib from a Sectuib, but she does know quality clothes when she sees them.
Waiter bats her eyes at Riyyh.
Riyyh: Hello. [smiles at her]
Riyyh: Yes, thank you, I'd like to try the blackberry tea, and one of these cinnamon pastries, please?
Riyyh: Darrel?
Riyyh gestures that he would be pleased to buy.
Darrel indicates his tea to show that he already ordered, then waffles.
Darrel is good at waffling.
Riyyh fills the extra time by smiling at the waiter again, since he is so good at it.
Darrel: Well, the pineapple tarts did look particularly good....
Waiter comes about as close to fainting with delight as a healthy, lust-filled teen can at the sight of Riyyh's smile.
Riyyh: ... and a pineapple tart for Darrel.
Waiter: Pineapple tart, cinnamon bun, and blackberry tea. I'll be right back.
Riyyh beams fondly after her.
Riyyh has always enjoyed the company of young folk, which come to think of it is just as well.
Waiter saunters off, hips swinging provocatively.
Riyyh returns his attention to Darrel.
Riyyh's smile in this case is a bit less... er... friendly and more caring.
Riyyh: So tell me of your stay here. Are you well treated? Are you healing?
Darrel: Well, for the first month or two, I was afraid that Controller Arat was going to have me involuntarily retired.
Darrel: ~~ echoes of fear ~~
Riyyh: Oh, dear. ~~ concern ~~
Riyyh: That's dreadfully serious. Are you sure this is no longer the case?
Riyyh had thought Arat ruthless, but had never considered he might stoop to murder to get rid of someone inconvenient.
Darrel: I don't think so. I don't see him very often, you know.
Riyyh: Oh, I see. [kindly]
Darrel: It's a big Sime Center.
Darrel looks at Riyyh.
Darrel: I miss Naros, sometimes. It seemed so... quiet and restful.
Riyyh: Perhaps when you have regained some vacation days you could visit. You would be welcome, of course. [smiles]
Darrel smiles back, a bit shyly.
Darrel: Thank you.
Darrel: It means a lot, to have a place to visit on vacation.
Riyyh: Do you know what the future holds for you, yet?
Riyyh knows that sometimes Tecton employees don't ever know, but he also has heard that Arat tends to hold onto those employees he'd rather not do without.
Darrel shrugs.
Darrel: Not really.
Riyyh sighs sympathetically.
Darrel: No one's mentioned any rumors about me being sent elsewhere, but Controller Arat doesn't usually let such things leak ahead of the official notification.
Riyyh: Really? [curious]
Riyyh: How does he control it?
Riyyh has of course been exposed to environments less gossip-ridden than Naros, but still finds the idea kind of foreign and intriguing.
Darrel: I think he doesn't tell anyone or write things down until he's ready to make a formal action.
Darrel: Except Hajene Jeniard, of course, but he won't say anything to anybody unless Controller Arat tells him he can.
Darrel considers.
Darrel: And maybe Sosu Nick. I've heard that Controller Arat really likes him, for some reason.
Darrel himself thinks that a rogue Donor from Bender Cove is an unlikely confidant for such a proper Tecton Controller.
Riyyh leans forward at the mention of his son/grandson.
Riyyh: Does he? ~~ starved for detail ~~
Darrel: Why, yes.
Riyyh has been moping about for two days since Nick's cool reception of his visit, and Arat's rude brush off.
Riyyh: Do you speak to Nick much? ~ hopefully ~
Darrel: Not much. He spends his time in the Controller's office, when he isn't working with Arat.
Darrel: Which is very unusual; most of the time, Controller Arat hardly lets his Donor work with him, I'm told.
Riyyh is disappointed that Darrel hasn't been speaking to Nick, but it does sound as if he knows more than Riyyh himself.
Riyyh: I do worry about whether he's happy. I tried to approach him at a social engagement the other day, and Arat quite ran me off. [ruefully]
Darrel: He can be very... intimidating.
Darrel's phrasing makes it somewhat unclear whether Arat or Nick is meant.
Riyyh assumes Darrel meant Arat.
Riyyh: He's never liked me, I'm afraid, but I must confess I was quite disheartened by Nick's own reaction.
Riyyh: He seemed....
Riyyh was actually puzzled by how Nick acted, because on the one hand he was the one who had approached Riyyh, but on the other hand he'd closed himself off thoroughly when Arat had bid him come.
Riyyh: Well, I just worry about him.
Darrel is ~~ sympathetic ~~.
Riyyh: I'm sorry to pester you with this. [suddenly realizing Darrel probably doesn't know what to say]
Riyyh: Tell me, have you made friends? ~~ hopeful ~~
Riyyh proceeds to substitute caring for Darrel, who is more available, for his empty feelings about Nick.
Darrel: A few. There's one Donor, Lemuse, who has been quite friendly.
Darrel: And some of the children in the burn ward are dears.
Waiter sashays back to the table, with a tray laden with tea and pastries.
Waiter has taken extra time to make sure her hair and makeup are perfect before delivering the order.
Waiter: Here you are!
Waiter puts a pot of tea in front of Riyyh.
Riyyh looks up and sees the extra effort she has gone to, and is ~~ flattered ~~
Waiter: I warmed the pot especially, so it would have good flavor.
Riyyh resolves that her efforts will not have been in vain.
Riyyh: Why thank you. So thoughtful of you. [smiles]
Waiter then sets the largest cinnamon bun beside the tea, and absentmindedly adds Darrel's pineapple tart to the now perilously crowded table.
Waiter: You're very welcome. Please let me know if there is... anything... more I can get for you.
Waiter's lips part in what she believes is a seductive pout.
Riyyh lets her know, via a subtle and not entirely conscious combination of visual signals, that he appreciates this to the bottom of his heart.
Riyyh: Thank you.
Riyyh longs to teach her how to pout properly, then reminds himself that this isn't really his domain.
Riyyh sighs.
Waiter reluctantly departs to take care of another table.
Darrel looks after the waiter.
Darrel: How do you do that?
Riyyh: Pardon me?
Riyyh looks genuinely interested in Darrel's question, and wholly attentive, which is really at least 50% of the trick in Riyyh's opinion.
Riyyh also looks rather innocent, as if he hadn't been aware of what he was doing, which he was... on some level.
Darrel: She hardly noticed me.
Riyyh: Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Darrel isn't jealous; he sees this as one more demonstration of the innate superiority of Firsts.
Riyyh resolves to make it up to Darrel by paying more attention to him personally.
Riyyh solves, or tries to solve, a lot of problems this way.
Riyyh smiles.
Riyyh: You were saying? You had met a kind Donor?
Darrel: Lemuse. She really seems to understand.
Darrel's definition of "understand" comes closest to the dictionary definition of "sympathize".
Riyyh is pleased.
Riyyh: How fortunate for you.
Riyyh: Do you work together much, or...?
Riyyh wonders if the friendship has gone beyond work.
Darrel: She was my first Donor when I arrived here. She's been working with me quite a bit since then, too.
Riyyh: A friend makes all the difference, does it not?
Darrel: Yes.
Darrel: But what brings you to Capitol, Sectuib Riyyh? I'd heard that you seldom travel.
Riyyh pours himself some tea.
Darrel tries his pineapple tart.
Riyyh: Well, I confess I chose to come now because I heard Nick was being brought to a party I'd been invited to.
Riyyh: However, I must travel to Capitol every so often to visit my people here, to see how our programs are going, and to make various arrangements. So, I combined the trips.
Darrel: I see.
Riyyh sounds apologetic, because he feels like he's cheated Darrel by admitting he hadn't come specifically to see Darrel himself.
Riyyh: I find that recently [he doesn't say: Since he started aging] I prefer to travel less than I once did, though.
Riyyh thinks if he hadn't already stopped traveling much before the ill-fated trip to Bender Cove, he certainly would have stopped then!
Nick steps into the tea shop to pick up a quick breakfast-to-go before reporting to work with Arat.
Riyyh turns, surprised, as Nick's nager enters.
Riyyh starts to call out his name, and then stops himself, wondering if Nick wants to hear from him now.
Nick gives his order, and looks around while it is being filled.
Riyyh meets Nick's eyes with a hopeful-but-obedient dog expression.
Riyyh: [ok maybe it's the begging dog expression]
Nick wanders over.
Riyyh: Nick?
Nick: Hello, Riyyh. Hajene Darrel.
Nick is a bit curious, as he had been under the opinion that Riyyh was very glad to get rid of Darrel.
Riyyh: Will you join us? [softly]
Riyyh isn't sure he likes the way Nick zlins, but he also knows that he can't ever be entirely sure of what he zlins in a Donor that out-rates him.
Darrel nods a greeting, while shifting to put the table between himself and the rogue Donor.
Nick: I have a few minutes.
Nick pulls an unoccupied stool over from the next table, and sits.
Riyyh: After what happened, I wasn't sure if....
Riyyh doesn't say, 'if it was appropriate that I approach you or not.'
Riyyh: Well, I wanted to make sure you are all right. [lamely]
Nick: Arat can be rather touchy, particularly when he's approaching need.
Nick: However, I'm fine.
Nick: Although I miss Snake.
Nick: ~~ sorrow ~~
Riyyh's heart promptly breaks in sympathy.
Riyyh: I'm sorry. ~~ sincere sympathy ~~
Riyyh holds onto the table to prevent himself from trying to embrace Nick as well; he does have some self-preservation instinct, after all.
Nick: I know the two of you didn't exactly hit it off....
Riyyh: She lacked a direction.
Riyyh: You remained too long, that is all.
Riyyh: I... forgive everything that happened.
Riyyh does, although for him forgiveness comes awfully easy.
Nick ~~ appreciates ~~ the gesture.
Riyyh: Do you really think there is a place for you here? With... [forces himself to confront the apparent impossibility] ... Controller Farris?
Riyyh sounds genuinely curious and caring.
Nick: I don't know.
Nick: I can't stay with him more than two months at a time.
Riyyh nods, looking troubled.
Nick: Arat has arranged to have me alternate between himself and Controller Tigue at New Othwol, for now.
Riyyh thinks it is the wrong way to live, but he also knows he has no home to offer Nick: Prunida would make life there a living hell, for Nick and Riyyh both.
Nick: I haven't been able to find out much about her, though.
Nick: Do you know her?
Riyyh: Deah Tigue? We've met once or twice.
Nick pays close ~~ attention ~~ to Riyyh's words.
Nick: What is she like?
Riyyh: She seems a friendly enough sort, if a bit... [pauses, trying to put this delicately, then decides there is really no way to do it] ... blunt.
Nick: Blunt?
Riyyh recalls that Hajene Tigue's first reaction to himself, after being introduced, was to describe him as a "Householding peacock" with "more feathers than sense".
Riyyh: She tends to say what she means, and sees, with little regard for social niceties. [explains]
Nick: I see.
Nick: Is she unkind about it?
Riyyh visibly struggles.
Riyyh: ....No, I think not.
Riyyh suspects he takes such comments harder than most would.
Riyyh: But it helps to keep a sense of humor about oneself. [smiles ruefully]
Nick frowns.
Riyyh: And to remember that when she and Arat fought over the New Othwol position, it was Arat who was eventually ousted.
Nick: She sounds formidable.
Nick distrusts formidable women, having spent far too much of his life with Prunida.
Riyyh: I have only met her socially. [confesses]
Riyyh: She is reputed to be a good Controller, though.
Nick absently tries to flatten back his poor chopped bangs.
Nick: Do her people seem to like her?
Riyyh's lips purse in sympathy as he surveys the hair cut.
Riyyh: I have never heard that they don't.
Riyyh: However, Naros has had little involvement in New Othwol.
Riyyh thinks, mainly due to being run out with torches and pitchforks every time they set foot in town.
Riyyh may be exaggerating, but basically Naros was not wanted there, and Arat and Deah were no exceptions to the string of Controllers that toed that particular party line.
Nick: Well, I suppose I'll find out soon enough. I've got two months with Controller Tigue, starting as soon as I serve Arat his transfer.
Riyyh: I do hope you are happy in the life you have chosen.
Nick is feeling rather displaced, at having to move on to a new channel and location so soon after arriving.
Riyyh: I only wish I could have offered you a safer haven. ~ regretfully ~
Nick: Grandmother would never have allowed it.
Nick: Although at least she won't see any profit from my Tecton work.
Riyyh: Ah, she won't then?
Nick looks as defiant as he can, when thinking of his grandmother.
Riyyh looks just a little nervous as Nick says that; he knows Prunida will come and attack him for it if she can't wring it from Nick.
Nick: No. She'd left orders that she was to be sent my salary. I countermanded them.
Riyyh thinks it's already been proven that he can't talk Nick into anything, but Prunida never ceases to assume he can.
Riyyh: Oh, dear. Well, you have done the right thing, I suppose. [sighs sadly]
Riyyh samples the cinnamon roll, but finds his appetite rather diminished.
Nick: And I haven't officially pledged yet.
Darrel sips his tea and nibbles on his tart timidly, trying to avoid Nick's attention.
Darrel is, of course, paying strict attention to the conversation; he is well aware of the market value for first-hand observations of the rogue Donor.
Riyyh notices Darrel's avoiding, and tries to add a touch of ~ friendly encouragement ~ to his own nager.
Riyyh can appreciate the awkwardness of the situation for Darrel, politically if nothing else, and doesn't want to cause him any more stress than necessary.
Nick: Although I think Arat would like me to.
Riyyh nods thoughtfully.
Nick is ~~ ambivalent ~~ about pledging, and slightly ~~ guilty ~~ about what his delays are doing to Arat.
Riyyh: It is expected.
Riyyh: [gently]
Nick: I don't know if I can. At least not yet.
Nick: It's so... final.
Nick is as averse to commitment as any 25 year old man.
Riyyh looks haunted.
Riyyh: Well, yes, I suppose it is.
Nick: What's wrong?
Riyyh corrects his expression at Nick's reaction, smoothing it over with pleasant apology.
Riyyh: It is good for you to recognize forever when you see it, at such a young age.
Riyyh: Not everybody does.
Riyyh is thinking of himself, although actually his problem was never so much recognizing forever as doing the right thing in regards to it.
Nick: I just don't feel that I know enough about the life of a Tecton Donor to decide.
Nick: The work is fine. It's the other part that's strange.
Riyyh listens, his full attention on Nick.
Nick: Arat was adamant that I not rent a house a few blocks that way....
Nick indicates the direction.
Nick: ...because it wouldn't be suitable for a First Order Donor.
Riyyh: You mean it wouldn't be suitable for him to visit you there.
Riyyh is trying to understand, although he is coming from a different perspective than Nick.
Nick: He said the same thing about the clothes I bought, and the way I did my hair.
Nick's idea of "doing" his hair was minimal at best.
Riyyh: Nick, Arat came from a great family. He cannot help himself.
Riyyh would have to agree about the hair, though. It looks as if someone had taken a pruning shears to the bangs.
Nick: I understand that, and I don't blame him for dressing the way he did as a child.
Riyyh: It's only because he wishes he could possess you. He wants to care for you as a Sime protects his Gen. It's perfectly natural. Did not Snake control you in the same way?
Riyyh can see where it would become exhausting to be "protected" in this way by a string of successive channels with differing beliefs and tastes, however.
Riyyh has never fathomed why some desire to labor for the Tecton, except that it must have more to do with the work than the life.
Nick: Snake never cared what I wore.
Riyyh: You once told me she didn't care for you at all. [softly]
Riyyh: Perhaps it was just that what you wore suited her, just as you suited her.
Nick nods.
Nick: Arat and I are well matched nagerically, but he doesn't seem comfortable with who I am.
Nick: So he's trying to make me over as a copy of himself.
Riyyh ponders that.
Riyyh: I don't know that Arat is comfortable with who anybody is, not even himself.
Nick wonders why he always ends up pouring out his heart to Riyyh, given his feeling towards his... relative.
Nick: He said that I had to learn to get along with the sort of people who were at that party, because I was by definition one of them.
Riyyh: It never hurts to be able to get along with people.
Riyyh could practically use this as his life motto, although in reality it has rather gotten him into trouble, especially recently.
Nick: But Assistant World Controllers? Me?
Nick's self-image hasn't been updated in some crucial respects since the years he spent as an itinerant laborer.
Riyyh: If you are going to come to their attention anyway, surely it is best to make a favorable showing? [ventures]
Riyyh: I don't see how you could avoid it while spending time with Arat. There is only one other between him and an Assistant World Controller in rank.
Riyyh had actually rather preferred it when Neptude was District Controller. Things had been so much more... comfortable.
Nick: Well, I suppose I ought to get along with the man's friends if I'm going to be spending half my time with him.
Nick: But I've heard that he tends to avoid social occasions.
Riyyh: Oh?
Nick: ~~ hopeful ~~
Riyyh: It must be a very busy life. [offers]
Nick: In many ways, it's less frantic than looking after Snake.
Riyyh listens.
Arat sets off along the most obvious route to Nick's house, since Nick is now woefully [read: 10 minutes] late.
Nick: Arat works a set number of hours, to avoid entran, and he doesn't usually work outside of them.
Riyyh: Because of his other duties. [nods]
Riyyh: It is much the same at Naros.
Riyyh doesn't mention that most people have a lot of other duties because there is a ridiculous proportion of channels to regular people there.
Nick: Snake had to take work when and where she found it.
Nick: Sometimes, it took a lot of finding.
Riyyh: Yes. ~~ sympathy ~~
Arat prowls up the street like a black, stalking bird, frowning ferociously at anybody foolish enough to wander into his path.
Arat's mind is actually on other things; his dirty look is operating on autopilot.
Riyyh: It is a hard life. I certainly... [stops, and then continues more gently] ... I certainly could not have survived for half as long as she did.
Nick: There was something in her that just wouldn't quit. Even when she thought she had given up.
Arat is either getting less agoraphobic, or more obsessed on Nick.
Arat ponders the question of which, which is why he's frowning so.
Riyyh nods.
Riyyh again wonders if he should tell the rumors he has heard.
Riyyh isn't sure they wouldn't do more harm than good at this point.
Riyyh however has had to wonder if there isn't somewhat of a grain of truth to them.
Nick sets the memory aside, and gets to his feet.
Nick: I'd better be going. Arat will be wondering where I am.
Arat thinks he catches a zlin of Nick's nager, and his stride lengthens, his eyes start scanning the flocks of pedestrians.
Nick: Thank you for listening.
Riyyh: Nick, if there is anything I can do for you....
Riyyh rises also.
Nick: Thank you. I'll see you in a week or so?
Riyyh breaks out into a smile for the first time in a while.
Riyyh: I look forward to it.
Nick nods, and heads for the counter to collect his order.
Arat zeroes in on a small cafe Nick seems to be emanating from.
Riyyh looks after him wistfully.
Darrel follows Riyyh's gaze.
Riyyh notices Arat's nager right around the same time.
Darrel: I hadn't thought that a First would have so many... insecurities.
Riyyh winces at the timely utterance, since it could apply to any of the Firsts present.
Nick pays for his tea and bagels.
Riyyh: It is possible. [sighs]
Riyyh turns back to Darrel.
Riyyh: Yes, it is definitely possible.
Darrel finds Nick a bit less intimidating, after listening in on his conversation with Riyyh.
Arat shoulders his way into the Cafe.
Arat slides between the other customers, who he wishes didn't exist, to Nick's side, noting Darrel and Riyyh's presence as he does.
Arat: You are late. [darkly]
Nick's nager blends with Arat's reflexively.
Nick: Arat! What are you doing out here?
Arat casts an irritable glance around the cafe.
Arat: Looking for you.
Arat is clearly uncomfortable here in the great outdoors, among the... er... people.
Nick: I'm sorry. Getting breakfast took a little longer than I expected.
Harried clears his throat loudly.
Harried: If you've picked up your order, please move aside.
Harried: ~~ rushed ~~
Harried edges towards the counter, trying to shove past Nick and Arat.
Arat gives Harried a black look.
Arat: ~~ not to be rushed ~~
Arat's towering dignity is not subject to negotiation if he can at all help it.
Harried pauses in his attempt to hand his cup past Arat to the counter clerk.
Nick takes Arat's arm and tries to move him away from the counter.
Nick: ~~ soothing ~~
Arat resists for a moment, and then walks calmly in the direction Nick wants.
Harried slams his cup down on the counter.
Harried: My usual, and hurry.
Darrel is trying hard to be as ~~ inconspicuous ~~ as possible.
Riyyh looks curiously at Darrel.
Darrel is, however, sure that Arat has noticed that he was talking to Riyyh.
Riyyh glances back at Nick and Arat.
Riyyh: Is something wrong?
Riyyh hopes he didn't get Darrel into trouble.
Darrel: I hope not.
Darrel tries to assess Arat's mood without drawing attention to himself.
Nick hands Arat his tea cup.
Nick: Here. Have some tea.
Nick is keeping up a steady ~~ soothing/calm/safety/selyn production ~~ to control Arat's need.
Arat: You don't have to fuss over me. ~ irritated ~
Arat however takes the tea and sips it.
Arat finds it oddly comforting, even standing up in a crowded cafe.
Arat: Why did you make me come after you? [after a moment, a bit peevishly]
Arat: [this is about as close to apologizing for his behavior as Arat can get]
Nick: I'm sorry, I know it's upsetting for you when I'm not around.
Arat tries not to think about what the next months will be like.
Nick adds a touch of sincere contrition to his projection, but not enough to undo the calming effect.
Arat, after a moment, says, in an odd voice, "How... is... your father?"
Arat is adjusting to the fact that he is standing there in a cafe, hardly a work environment.
Nick is, however, well used to working with a Farris-sensitive channel in such crowded conditions, and is able to muffle the worst of the nageric din.
Nick: Riyyh is much as always.
Nick finds it easier to use the proper name, as there is no concise term in Simelan for "father and grandfather".
Arat scowls, since if the answer is applied to his own experience, Riyyh is still a loathsome, spineless thief.
Arat: And Darrel?
Nick glances at the Second Order channel.
Darrel catches the glance and tries not to flinch too visibly.
Arat, who has his back to them, zlins it all clearly without even trying.
Nick: He didn't seem to have much to say.
Nick: He doesn't seem to be as intimidated by Riyyh as he is by you.
Arat: Nobody is intimidated by Riyyh ambrov Naros.
Arat makes a mental note to give Nick more training on watching for, and memorizing, detail his channel might find interesting.
Arat: Come then.
Nick follows Arat.
Riyyh places a gentle hand on Darrel's hand, as soon as he feels Arat's attention gone.
Darrel is shaking.
Riyyh: ~~ soothing ~~
Darrel: He's going to want to talk to me about this, I know he is, he'll call me into his office and ask me all sorts of questions, and I never know how to answer them, and....
Riyyh: Darrel, why should he want to talk to you about this? [gently]
Riyyh: Should I have not called you here? I did not mean to cause you harm.
Darrel leans hard on Riyyh's soothing nager.
Riyyh's tentacles wrap around his hand.
Darrel: He scares me, when he scowls like that.
Riyyh: Has he mistreated you? [asks softly, seriously]
Darrel: Not really. Not in what he actually did.
Riyyh listens.
Darrel: But when he looks at you that way... well, you remember all the things a Controller could do, and you zlin that he wouldn't hesitate to do them if he thought you deserved it.
Riyyh nods.
Darrel: He's... cold.
Riyyh: Maybe Nick will help to erase the past hardships that made him who he is.
Darrel: I don't know how even a First like Nick can stand up to him when he's in that sort of mood.
Riyyh can't really see it either, but then he is much more of a coward than Darrel, though in a different way.
Riyyh: Nick is strong, yet he has worked with another Farris. He has the sensitivity to help Arat without hurting him at the same time.
Riyyh remembers all too clearly how inadequate a channel he was for Nick, himself.
Darrel: It's like he's walking around with invisible armor on, that protects him from even noticing Arat's bad moods.
Darrel wishes he had a bit of that sort of immunity himself.
Riyyh: Nick notices, Darrel.
Riyyh: But he has to be patient. The damage of thirty years cannot be undone in two months.
Darrel: How can he just... shrug it off, like that?
Riyyh thinks of Snake.
Riyyh finds that line of thought leads to no firm answer.
Riyyh: If it were I....
Riyyh tries not to picture himself in a position of working with Arat daily too clearly.
Riyyh: I think it would be because I looked past the surface, into what feelings are causing that terrible look.
Riyyh: What looks like anger is usually fear of one kind or another.
Riyyh: It is difficult to fear someone who is as afraid of you.
Riyyh thinks, or of what you can do, or did in the past.
Darrel: How can Nick get past that impenetrable showfield? He can't even zlin.
Riyyh: There are other ways. The eyes, the set of the mouth. The way a person stands.
Riyyh: Arat is more transparent than he seems.
Riyyh had found Arat's hatred of him quite obvious, as a matter of fact.
Darrel has, like most Simes, lost much of his ability to understand body language since changeover.
Riyyh of course is the grand master of body language.
Darrel: I think that's what a friend of mine used to call "Gen magic".
Riyyh: Body language. [corrects kindly]
Riyyh: It is the language of animals, and of children and Gens.
Riyyh: We can use it too, if we choose to.
Riyyh: As it uses us. [adds significantly]
Darrel: Uses us?
Darrel looks just a bit confused.
Riyyh smiles.
Riyyh: I don't mean to be cryptic.
Riyyh: But think on it: If it is not Arat's nager you are afraid of, what is it?
Riyyh: His posture, his expression, am I right?
Darrel: He always seems so gloomy, or angry. I don't think I've ever seen him smile.
Riyyh automatically feels ~ pity ~ for the man.
Darrel: But his nager is always so controlled that I can't zlin any emotion at all.
Darrel: Or if I can, it's because he decided that he wanted me to zlin it.
Riyyh: Don't you think, if he could, he'd control his face as well as his nager?
Darrel: Well, maybe.
Riyyh: But because he cannot, you see his private emotions: Not what he is trying to demonstrate to you.
Darrel personally thinks that Arat must spend a great deal of time in front of the mirror to perfect that brooding scowl.
Riyyh: That is what I meant by being used by your own body language.
Riyyh: It is not serving him, it is acting on its own.
Darrel: Does he know that he's giving himself away?
Riyyh considers.
Riyyh: I wouldn't be surprised if he does, and resents it.
Riyyh: But many other people don't even realize. Particularly Simes.
Darrel is struck by a thought.
Darrel: Could that be part of the trouble Controller Arat is supposed to have in trusting his Donors? He knows they can see through his control?
Riyyh: Perhaps. Although I'm afraid in his case it goes much deeper than that.
Riyyh smiles at Darrel.
Riyyh: You asked earlier why the waitress noticed me.
Darrel nods wistfully.
Riyyh: I think it is because you sat hunched, withdrawn, your body sending the signal that you were nervous about being approached, while I seemed more open.
Riyyh: Nothing more than that.
Riyyh: She responded instinctively.
Riyyh hopes he has provided useful knowledge for Darrel's future.
Darrel slowly absorbs the lesson.
Darrel tries to unhunch, straightening his back and putting his shoulders back.
Darrel: Like this?
Darrel's new posture makes his uncertain expression more visible.
Riyyh: Better. [smiles, a warm, reassuring smile]
Riyyh: Now, open your expression with a friendly smile.
Riyyh: Like this.
Darrel attempts a smile, with a rather endearing result.
Riyyh's deepens in response.
Riyyh: There....
Riyyh: Very good.
Riyyh is pleased to have helped Darrel, if only briefly.
Waitress sashays over with a pitcher.
Waitress: More hot water?
Waitress smiles at Darrel also, this time.
Darrel holds out his cup, wishing he was one of those men who always know what to say.
Riyyh dims his presence slightly, giving preference to Darrel.
Darrel watches as the waitress pours.
Darrel: ...Thank you.
Riyyh does this instinctively, by looking slightly aside, letting Darrel respond first.
Waitress: Any time, sugar.
Waitress smiles seductively at Darrel (who is after all much nearer her own age than Riyyh, and cute in a rather windswept fashion).
Waitress tops off Riyyh's cup and goes on to the next table.
Darrel: She noticed me.
Darrel: ~~ mild shock ~~
Darrel usually is only successful in attracting middle-aged, motherly types.
Darrel tends to find younger women both unattainable and intimidating.
Riyyh smiles.