Sime~Gen Roleplaying: District Controller's Office Scenario
Episode #105: Culture Shen (11/23/99)
Leta walks beside Homer along their now favorite and very familiar stretch of the River Gardens.
Leta has the timing worked out so that they will get back to the transfer suit in plenty of time to have a relaxed leadup to transfer.
Leta doesn't want drama, and also doesn't want to buy yet another pair of new shoes.
Homer usually enjoys the grass and flowers but today he hardly seems to notice.
Homer's shoulders are hunched and he keeps his eyes fixed on the ground.
Leta: Jommy seems to be doing well [Jommy being a young Sime in their care who had a rough changeover]
Leta: ~ support ~
Leta: ~ here for you ~
Homer: Yes.
Homer: Soon they will take him away and bring another.
Leta: It's good we can help so many.
Leta: I think we make a good team.
Homer: You are good to me, Leta.
Homer: I would be lost here without you.
Leta hopes he will be more cheerful after transfer.
Leta: Oh, there are lots of people here who would look after you. You should get out, make more friends.
Homer zlins her anxiously.
Homer: There are too many people.
Leta: ~ firm support ~
Homer: As soon as I begin to know someone, they are gone.
Leta: As long as they are friendly, how can there be too many?
Leta: That's the way life is, Homer.
Homer: Who are they, who are their parents, where are their brothers and sisters?
Homer: They whirl around like snowflakes.
Leta brushes the fallen leaves with her foot.
Homer: There is no connection.
Homer: They appear and disappear.
Leta: It's like the seasons. Spring is for birth, Summer is for children. It's autumn now, and like the leaves they errr, leave the trees....
Leta: Actually leaves are called leaves because they leave the tree in the fall, which is why it's called fall.
Leta has a tendency to pepper her conversations with these kind of things, although she does try not to, because she knows how annoying they can be.
Leta: So anyway, it's right that people touch our lives and go again. That is how we share experiences and grow. Rather then cling to the tree way after our time and go all sticky and brown.
Homer pauses by a bend in the river watching the a combination of leaves and garbage sweep by in the gray rushing water.
Leta looks up at the sky. "Do you think it might actually snow? The sky looks like it might."
Homer thinks the gray roiling water provides a fitting accompaniment to his disturbed nager.
Homer scans the sky. Snow is definitely coming.
Homer: Yes. At least two inches by tomorrow.
Leta: We should head back. Crumus will be waiting.
Homer: Crumus?
Leta thinks that Crumus will probably also be worrying.
Leta: Hajene Crumus. He is going to monitor... you were told, weren't you?
Homer: Someone told me that, but what does it mean, monitor?
Leta hesitates.
Leta: You don't know? You have never had a transfer monitored before?
Leta: ~ surprise ~
Homer: I don't know the word.
Leta: Well, they just monitor, watch, check, ummmm, monitor the transfer to make sure everything goes right.
Leta: The way we do when a child is in change over.
Homer: He will zlin our transfer?
Leta: Yes.
Homer: But I never even met him!
Leta: Does that matter?
Leta: He is totally professional. [she hopes, never having met him either]
Homer sighs.
Leta checks the road at the edge of the Gardens before stepping off the curb.
Homer: And do you want him there?
Leta had never really thought about it.
Leta: Well, I don't mind if he is there.... Why? Do you mind?
Homer is practically in tears.
Homer cannot cry, however, because he is too deeply in Need.
Homer: I thought when you accepted me, that meant you chose me, you trusted me.
Homer: I see that once again I... misunderstood.
Leta looks confused.
Leta: But I do trust you.
Leta: It's just for our safety that he is there. In case of - you know - accidents.
Homer: Precisely. You do not trust me to keep you safe.
Leta: What about your safety?
Leta is seriously concerned about Homer's state of mind.
Leta: ~ calm calm ~
Homer: ~~ baffled ~~
Homer: My safety?
Leta stops him at the edge of the park and takes his arms.
Leta: Both our safety. That's what monitors are for.
Homer: Among my people, we "monitor" the young ones in First Year.
Leta: ~ soothing ~
Leta: Well, consider it like this. To us you are still in First Year. It's only the second transfer you have had in the Tecton.
Homer: This would be considered an insult.
Homer: As if I were immature or evil-minded.
Homer: But your people think I am both.
Leta: Of course I don't.
Leta maintains a silence, but carefully doesn't speed up pace while they continue to the Center.
Homer: Leta, before we go back, let me give you something.
Leta moves her feet out of the way. "Oh?"
Homer reaches in his pocket and removes a small package, wrapped in brightly dyed corn stalks.
Homer shyly hands it to her.
Leta: Why, thank you Homer.
Leta isn't sure that it's in the best professional behavior to accept all these little presents that Homer gives her.
Leta takes the package, however.
Leta: You know, you probably shouldn't be giving me these.
Leta unwraps the package.
Homer: I want you to be happy.
Homer's package contains a necklace made of strands of strung corn. There are strands of white, red, yellow and a sort of purple-black.
Leta: Why, it's lovely!
Leta: And so, ummm, unique!
Homer: Among my people, a Sime gives this to a new transfer mate.
Homer: I wasn't sure you would like it until you said what you did about the leaves and the seasons.
Leta quickly hands it back.
Leta: I'm sorry Homer, in that case I can't possibly accept it.
Homer: Why not?
Homer: ~~ distressed ~~
Leta: I'm not your transfer mate. I'm assigned to you for this one transfer.
Leta: Possibly we will be assigned again, either now, or another time.
Leta: This is too... special... for me to accept it.
Leta: ~ supportive ~
Leta: I can give you my selyn and my support and my best wishes. I'm afraid I can't give you more than that.
Homer: ~~ TERRIFIED ~~
Leta: ~ soothing calm ~
Leta: ~ professional, strong nager ~
Homer: How can you think to offer transfer if you don't accept me as a transfer mate?
Homer: That would be obscene.
Leta: Maybe we have a little communication problem? What do you mean by transfer mate?
Homer: One that you choose to share your spirit with.
Homer: One that is worthy to protect you.
Leta: I am a Donor, Homer. I give of myself every month so that channels, like you, can help society.
Homer's thinking processes are slowed by need, but the threat of Need has sparked some increased reaction.
Leta: I can't allow any personal feelings I might have to interfere with my work.
Homer: I didn't mean a proposal of marriage. One can have many transfer mates.
Leta: As long as you understand where my job ends.
Homer: I am not sure I understand you.
Homer: You offer me selyn, but you do not share your spirit with me?
Homer: You do not care if I am here or someone else?
Leta: If you are asking if I care about you as a person, of course I do. I care about all the channels I work with.
Homer: But you do not trust me to care for you or protect you.
Homer: You do not judge if I am worthy of you, you would serve even if I was a fool or a criminal?
Leta: Of course I would. It's not up to me to judge.
Homer: Then who is it up to?
Leta isn't sure on that one.
Leta: Who gives anyone the right to call another "fool"?
Leta: Oh, we are spending time here. We must keep on, unless you want transfer right here on the street!
Homer: You are Gen! The spirit flows directly through you. What more right do you require?
Leta attempts to tow him down the street.
Homer follows passively.
Leta: ~ lure ~
Leta attempts to keep her nager soothing, while she races internally.
Leta: ~ soothing, here for you, calm, peace etc etc ~
Homer: ~~ numb with betrayal ~~
Homer: ~~ sinking into the black quicksand of the void and holding on by a slender thread that he is sure is about to break ~~
Leta calms herself down at the bottom of the stairs and, with somewhat more dignity, climbs them and enters the building.
Leta: Hajene, I want to clean up a bit. I'll meet you in our designated suite in about 5 minutes, all right?
Homer wants to plead with her not to leave him.
Leta smiles at him tightly and speeds off.
Homer pulls his tentacles tightly into his sheathes, holding himself stiffly.
Leta rushes to Arat's private office.
Leta wants the quickest entry, so pounds on the door rather hard with her fist.
Arat jumps up reflexively at the pounding.
Homer walks slowly to the transfer suite, maintaining his calm with iron control.
Leta: Controller! Are you there?
Leta: [bang bang bang]
Arat zlins it's Leta and goes to open the door himself.
Arat: Yes, what is it?
Arat zlins her in concern.
Homer enters the transfer suite, gazing at the accouterments with a sneer.
Leta: The man is a fool!
Leta: ~ fume fume ~
Arat looks visibly alarmed.
Arat: What has happened?
Homer washes his hands and face; these folks in Capitol seem to think that is important.
Leta: What's happened? I've failed, that's what's happened. He is still as stubborn and as unyielding as he was when I first met him. He gave me a present - a necklace - that he would give to a transfer mate!
Leta: He won't understand anything. I can't seem to have an effect on him.
Leta: I just want this transfer over and done with! Can you please monitor it? I don't trust myself!
Leta: ~ frustration ~
Arat is appalled at the difference between this and Leta's confident report of only a few days before.
Arat: Of course.
Homer sits cross-legged on the floor and tries to center himself.
Leta is pretty appalled herself. She had thought she had things more in nager then that.
Arat pulls his door shut.
Homer has gotten better at centering through concrete in the last month.
Leta sighs with relief.
Leta: Thank you Controller. I am most sincerely sorry for the way I have acted.
Crumus signals at the door of the transfer suite, precisely on schedule.
Leta: ~ relieved, and a bit ashamed ~
Arat nods.
Arat: We will discuss it later. For now, let us do what we can with Homer's transfer.
Homer draws his nager and concentration into a ragged semblance of order.
Arat's reaction is about as good as it can possible get.
Homer signals the stranger to enter.
Crumus enters the room.
Crumus is an older male high-Second order channel.
Crumus: Hello, you must be Homer. [smiles]
Homer slowly takes in the Sime with zlin and gaze.
Homer: Yes, I am Homer Hawke, Second Order Channel.
Crumus: ~~ professional and unobtrusive ~~
Homer's voice sounds grim.
Crumus can't help but notice Homer's negativity.
Crumus immediately becomes concerned.
Homer: And you are the... monitor?
Crumus: Yes, I am here to monitor. What is wrong?
Crumus can tell it's going to be an ugly one just by Homer's attitude, and wonders if he should call for back up.
Homer: What does it matter?
Crumus: Well, it matters because nobody can pull off a decent transfer starting out this way.
Crumus pulls out a chair and sits down.
Crumus: Do you want to talk about it?
Leta: [to Arat] Perhaps, Controller, I should go first?
Homer doubts that anyone in Nivet knows what a decent transfer is.
Homer: With a stranger? Not really.
Arat shakes his head.
Homer: But I will if you require me to.
Arat: We shall go in together.
Crumus: Is that how you feel about the transfer too?
Homer will honorably follow through on his promise to live by the local customs, no matter how bizarre or distasteful.
Leta would have preferred to go ahead, prepare Homer for the arrival of the Controller. But Arat is, after all, the boss.
Homer: I am uncomfortable with your customs, but I will do my best.
Leta follows meekly at the Controller's heels.
Crumus: Your best to what?
Crumus: [quietly] To have a good transfer?
Leta hasn't felt so much of a failure since that time during First Year with the Second, the shovel and the loaf of bread.
Homer: To follow the rules here.
Crumus: You still haven't said why you are so unhappy.
Crumus isn't talking about simple need emotions either.
Crumus wonders where Leta is; surely she should be appearing any minute now?
Crumus: Have you had problems with Leta?
Homer: I am unhappy because I mistook someone here for a friend of mine.
Homer: My misunderstanding offended her.
Homer: If I understand the matter correctly, she will soon return.
Arat arrives at the designated transfer suite with Leta in train.
Arat has obviously had this transfer on his mind; otherwise he wouldn't likely have known which suite it was to take place in.
Leta adjusts her nager to something suitable.
Arat signals.
Homer takes another deep and calming breath, maintaining his control.
Homer signals them to enter.
Homer stands up. He has come to realize that sitting on the floor is another perfectly natural thing that is not encouraged.
Homer bows stiffly.
Homer: Controller Arat.
Homer: Sosu Leta.
Arat gestures for Leta to go to him.
Leta: ~ here for you ~
Leta projects soothingly at Homer.
Homer trembles at her projection.
Homer is tempted but he no longer trusts her.
Leta: ~ hunger to give ~
Homer realizes that there is no other Gen for him here.
Crumus glances at Arat, then rises and fades back nearer to the door at his signal.
Leta takes another step forward.
Arat zlins Leta and Homer carefully.
Leta: Homer?
Leta: Let me help you.
Homer prepares himself for the shame of taking selyn in an unholy manner.
Leta looks helplessly at Arat.
Homer wonders who in Nivet knows how to perform a cleansing ceremony.
Arat signals her to back off.
Leta immediately steps back and stops projecting anything at all.
Homer glances at Crumus and Arat, the strangers who would observe his humiliation.
Crumus remains near the door, neutralized nagerically by his location and by Arat's handling of the ambient.
Homer's nager darkens in pain and fear as he loses Leta's support.
Arat: Homer, you are not ready for transfer with Leta.
Arat: Can you explain?
Homer feels the quicksand void of Need sucking him down again.
Arat didn't have to be a Farris to tell that, despite his need, Homer is humiliated, ashamed, and disgusted by the idea of it.
Leta stands quietly beside the door and pretends to be a plank of wood.
Leta: ~ neutral ~
Homer: It is up to her, really. She is the Gen.
Crumus casts Leta a discreet, sympathetic look.
Homer: If she does not accept me, then it is wrong to transfer.
Homer: If she offers herself in spite of that, I am in no condition to refuse.
Arat looks at Leta, and then back to Homer.
Arat: I zlin no lack of acceptance in her. You are mistaken.
Leta is relieved that the Controller isn't looking to blame her, but carefully stays neutral.
Arat actually means he zlinned no lack of acceptance in her earlier, when they were interacting.
Homer: She offers selyn to a channel. Any channel. Not to me.
Homer: That is not how a Gen of my people would welcome a Sime.
Homer: But again, customs here are different.
Arat's eyes narrow.
Arat: Do you recall what you told me about why you are here?
Homer: Yes.
Leta hates seeing anyone this close to need feeling this miserable. She is careful not to show it though, trusting that the Controller knows what he is doing.
Arat: And what was that?
Homer: I gave my word to abide by your customs, and I shall do so.
Homer: And you said I might think and feel as I chose, and I shall do that also.
Arat: Very well. However, I will not ask Leta to serve a channel who evinces such loathing at the prospect.
Leta: ~ relief ~
Leta quickly hides that.
Leta: ~ plank of wood ~
Homer steels himself inside, knowing that the alternative will be unpleasant.
Arat notes that Homer feels no objection to this announcement.
Homer fights the sense of impending doom that threatens to engulf him.
Arat also doesn't miss Leta's relief.
Arat didn't need their feelings to justify his decision, but they certainly add the stamp of finality to it.
Homer fights the incipient terror of attrition.
Arat turns slightly and gestures to Leta and Crumus to give them some privacy.
Leta hesitates for a second, then doesn't quite flee from the room.
Homer knows there is no way Arat will find another Gen for him.
Crumus follows her out and sets the room's placard to "do not disturb".
Leta manages to make it to the end of the corridor before breaking into tears.
Homer anticipates that channel's transfer will be the only choice left.
Homer doesn't think his offense has been serious enough to merit death by attrition.
Arat turns back to Homer, his nager adjusting for the change in the ambient.
Arat holds out his hands in a simple gesture of availability; his expression is neither sympathetic or condemning, but only businesslike.
Homer zlins Arat.
Arat's nager is powerful yet delicately controlled, huge with bright selyn offered neutrally and freely.
Homer acknowledges the offering gesture.
Homer cannot zlin anything of Arat's feelings about serving him.
Homer thinks, well, at least he pretends nothing.
Homer fixes his attention on the lure of selyn.
Homer lets his intil rise.
Arat holds his ground, letting Homer's need do the decision making.
Homer's body responds with his need, glands swelling, ronaplin dripping.
Homer remains emotionally detached as his body launches itself towards Arat.
Arat sets himself to meet the charge, tentacles extending to receive Homer's.
Homer entwines laterals with Arat and seeks the 5th contact.
Arat's nager rings with a ~~ beating shimmering increase in power ~~ like an adrenaline rush.
Homer draws slowly and smoothly.
Homer swells with the shimmering selyn.
Homer reaches satiation and slumps in physical relief.
Arat supports Homer easily as it ends.
Homer remains dispassionate and shows no signs of post-reaction.
Arat hadn't expected Homer to, given the clinical nature of the transfer.
Arat is capable of much better, but not with deliberately obstructive subjects.
Homer releases Arat.
Homer: Thank you, Hajene.
Arat nods.
Homer turns to the sink to clean himself.
Arat: You will have two days excused from work, during which you will not leave this building.
Homer: ~~ surprise ~~
Arat: You will be contacted when I have made a decision on the arrangements for the next month.
Homer: Do you wish me to continue my work with the children?
Arat: Not during the next 48 hours.
Homer: As you wish.
Homer feels the temptation to cry, but numb as he is, succeeds in controlling it.
Arat: It will be necessary for me to question Leta as to how this month went so well for so long, and then ended so badly.
Arat: When I have the information I require, I will decide what changes must be made.
Arat: You are, of course, expected to provide your own explanation, but if you continue to refuse to, then my decision will necessarily be based entirely upon her report and my own observations.
Homer is not encouraged that Arat has so successfully identified his weaknesses.
Homer doesn't know what explanation Arat requires, as he has already explained as well as he could.
Arat, who has been given no explanation whatsoever aside from a sullen defense of Homer's right to hate his Donor and be emotionally erratic, intends the restriction as a way to keep Homer out of trouble and give him time to think about how he ended up with only a channel's transfer.
Arat has no intention of allowing Homer anything like the freedom of the last month, in light of the extreme lack of cooperation of the last hour.
Homer despairs of explaining anything to anyone; whenever he tries he seems to get into worse trouble.
Arat, in other words, had given Homer enough rope to hang himself and then had to watch it happen.
Arat rubs his hands and tentacles together, then separates them in distaste for the stickiness.
Homer: I'm not sure what you want to know.
Arat: I want to know what went wrong.
Arat: There is a reason why you felt what you did toward Leta, when you did not feel it last week.
Arat: I want to know the reason in every detail, starting from the beginning of the month and ending now.
Arat: Leta was my best choice for a Donor for you, and since you have rejected her it is my duty to find another. The information will assist in my selection... and will also have considerable bearing upon your work and rehab assignments for the next month.
Homer: I did not reject her. She rejected me.
Homer: She refused my transfer gift.
Arat's cool gaze demands a full, rather than partial, explanation.
Homer: She explained that she offered her selyn out of a sense of duty, not because she chose me.
Arat: Are those the words she used?
Homer: She said that she gave of herself so that channels like me could help society.
Homer: Any channel, not me. She didn't choose me.
Arat: No. I chose you.
Arat actually did not choose Homer but had him thrust upon him by politics higher up, but that isn't anything he's going to put on Homer's shoulders.
Arat: And I chose her.
Arat: For each other.
Homer: And who are you to choose for her? She is Gen.
Leta is sitting on a chair down the hallway. She has stopped crying and is just waiting, knowing that eventually someone (probably Arat, unfortunately) is going to want to question her about all this.
Arat: I am Arat Farris, Controller of this District. By definition, the choice for all under me is ultimately mine.
Homer: Ah, that is what you meant by authority.
Arat of course has nothing to do with most people's transfers, except for his immediate subordinates'; there are many lesser Controllers within the District, and Arat handles only the greater structure and the problems that arise.
Homer: Well, Arat Farris, you chose to give me life, and I accepted it from you.
Homer: I would have accepted it from Leta, had she chosen.
Arat: Chosen to what?
Arat is fully aware that Homer has been avoiding giving him the complete explanation.
Homer: But she said it was not up to her to judge who to give her selyn to.
Arat: Hajene Homer, you are playing the fool.
Arat: Not only do I resent your doing it my presence, but I find it a waste of your talents and your future.
Homer: You keep saying that.
Homer: I am not playing anything.
Homer: You ask me for explanations and then insult me when I give them.
Arat: Perhaps you had better rethink your definition of an "explanation", then.
Arat: And while you're at it, rethink your definition of obedience to both our customs and your own.
Arat gives Homer a final, icy stare, and then turns and walks from the room.
Arat has no patience for fools, as has been mentioned before.
Homer thinks that trying to talk to someone who does not care to listen is a waste of time.
Homer thinks that if his life depends on Arat's favor, he is in serious trouble.
Homer thinks that he has apparently three options: slavery, suicide or escape.