Sime~Gen Roleplaying: District Controller's Office Scenario
Episode #29: The Exclusive (5/25/99)
Neptude waits in his office for his last appointment of the day, or the first in the morning, however you care to view it.
Arat signals at the door.
Neptude doesn't usually schedule appointments for this time, but in this case, it was necessary to make sure that the meeting's object was asleep.
Neptude: Come!
Arat and Jeniard enter Neptude's office.
Neptude: Arat, Jeniard, you're in good time. Have a seat.
Neptude gestures to two chairs.
Arat: Controller Neptude.
Arat sits.
Jeniard greets Neptude and follows suit.
Neptude zlins the interaction between them casually, then more closely.
Neptude: Something seems a bit different, between you two.
Arat and Jeniard look at each other.
Neptude: I can't quite put a tentacle on it, but....
Neptude: ~~ puzzled ~~
Jeniard: Arat has been feeling more relaxed since he has been working with Nick Reckage.
Jeniard didn't call it that during his arguments with Arat about it.
Jeniard's arguments with Arat about it have been necessarily brief, since they took place in near-silence during the moments Nick was away in the bathroom and so forth, or in complete silence while Nick was asleep.
Neptude: Is that it, Arat? Have you finally found a Donor you can work with?
Arat always gets defensive when people bring up this subject, and has to hem and haw mentally for a few moments.
Arat: Yes.
Arat is carrying three folders: his report on the state of the district, his report on Nick Reckage, and his proposal for Nick's future.
Neptude beams, letting his unfeigned ~~ gladness ~~ permeate the ambient.
Neptude: I knew there had to be some Gen who could do it for you--though I'd never have guessed you'd settle on a half-trained rogue.
Arat: Nick is as well trained as any Tecton Donor I've had. [stiffly]
Arat hadn't mentioned, when he said Nick needed 2 or 3 months of training, that he personally feels most Tecton Donors he's had needed to go through the whole thing again.
Neptude is so glad to hear Arat actually defending his Donor against criticism that he is willing to overlook the hint of insubordination.
Neptude nods to the folders Arat is carrying.
Neptude: Are those the reports I asked for?
Arat hands them over.
Arat: The third one is my proposal for Nick's future assignment.
Arat has gotten his fellow Othwol Institute alumnus Deah Tigue to tentatively agree to an exclusive rotation of Nick between her office and Arat's.
Neptude takes up the District report first.
Neptude: Is there anything in this that I should know about now?
Arat considers the phrasing of the question.
Arat: No.
Neptude: Have you encountered any problems that should be discussed between us?
Arat: Perhaps.
Arat: I would be more than willing to discuss any aspect of it which may interest you.
Neptude settles back in a listening attitude and gestures for Arat to elaborate.
Jeniard is secretly amused by Arat's anxiousness to get on to the discussion about Nick, and Neptude's thwarting of this hope, but keeps it to himself. [well, as much as is possible]
Jeniard: [put it this way; he'd rather they zlin amusement than his hurt feelings]
Neptude: Is your Center running smoothly? No problems with personnel or patients?
Neptude: How about those visitors you had--the mental physicians?
Arat, who had been prepared to summarize his report thoroughly, is relieved when it seems Neptude isn't too interested in the actual state of the District.
Arat: They seem to be doing fine.
Arat hopes they will be leaving soon, since they were only supposed to stay for a month.
Neptude: Good, good.
Neptude: Has the World Controller's office been giving you any more trouble?
Neptude is conscientious enough to see it as part of his job to mediate between his employees and his bosses, when necessary.
Arat: No.
Arat thinks there is no point in explaining about the dinner party.
Neptude: Well, then.
Neptude shuffles folders.
Neptude: How is Reckage coming along?
Jeniard rolls his eyes, thinking Arat would have said "No" to anything to get to the bit about Nick faster.
Arat: He is doing well.
Neptude: Has he shown signs of being willing to settle down and become a proper Donor?
Arat: I have gotten him an apartment in Quayfront.
Arat: Yes, he has.
Neptude sits up alertly.
Neptude: An apartment?
Neptude: Are you sure that's a good idea?
Neptude: I had assumed you'd keep him under observation.
Arat: He was looking for one on his own. I thought it best to allow him the privilege while maintaining some control of the situation.
Arat is being as honest as possible with his boss. If he'd been talking to Nick he'd have described it as "Freedom" and "concern" rather than "privilege" and "control".
Neptude: Well, I suppose it would be more dangerous to let him believe himself a prisoner. Still, it would be much easier for him to just slip away from an outside apartment, if he chose to remain rogue.
Arat: I believe he has already made his decision.
Neptude: Really?
Neptude: You think you've won him over?
Arat: He has not said so in so many words, but I believe if he is handled properly up until, and immediately after, our transfer, he will make the pledge.
Arat: I have prepared a proposal, as I have said, which is in that 3rd folder.
Neptude frees the third folder.
Neptude: Summarize it.
Jeniard appears to listen intelligently, though he is expending more energy quashing his ~ jealousy ~ until such a time as only Arat is around to suffer it.
Arat: I propose to put him into an exclusive, two way rotation between my office and that of Deah Tigue, City Controller in New Othwol.
Neptude raises an eyebrow.
Arat: Two months in each location.
Neptude: Deah Tigue? Why an exclusive, and why with her?
Arat: She's up to him, and won't do anything to offend him.
Arat doesn't say, "also I can trust her."
Neptude: Is he easily offended?
Arat: His impression of the Tecton has been largely a negative one until now. It is important that he not believe my office is unique in being well organized and competent.
Arat's impression of the quality of the average channel roughly equals his opinion of the quality of the average Donor.
Neptude: What made you pick a Tigue, rather than another Farris?
Neptude: I would think that other things being equal, another Farris would be more appropriate.
Neptude is ~~ curious ~~ rather than critical.
Arat: You have somebody in mind? [uneasily]
Arat neither gets along with, or feels comfortable around, most Farrises.
Arat doesn't like interacting with people who can penetrate his showfield, and also has never been able to get over the fact that he wasn't welcomed into Zeor's arms when he was discovered to be a Farris many years ago.
Neptude: I was simply wondering about the basis for your choice.
Arat knows that Neptude, like anybody who is anybody, knows Deah and he go all the way back to training days.
Arat: It is physically nearby, in addition to the other advantages I mentioned.
Arat: Also, I thought Nick might be of some use in monitoring Naros.
Arat: It is, after all, half way between.
Arat thinks it need not be said that Naros requires monitoring, and desperately.
Neptude: Do you think that's wise? Naros has been a problem for a long time, and Reckage is unlikely to be an objective observer, under the circumstances.
Arat: As a family member, Nick would be trusted more than one of us. He does not have a strong desire to live there, yet it would be foolish to try to keep him from all contact with it.
Neptude: Ah. You see it as a way to give him the appearance of freedom while ensuring that he won't take it?
Arat doesn't add that Nick would appear to be unlikely to get sucked into the particular Narosian trap that so many of his other monitors got sucked into.
Arat: I think a few days of Naros every two months is about all anybody suitable for Tecton employment could possibly need.
Arat: Unless ill or injured. [adds]
Jeniard, who hadn't heard about the Naros plan, sits trying to decide how he feels about it.
Neptude: Yes, well, and then it would be a toss-up whether the treatment was worse than the disease.
Neptude: You still haven't answered my question as to why you feel Deah Tigue is the appropriate assignment for Reckage. I agree that she's the most convenient at the moment, but this case is important enough that we could probably get any channel we asked for.
Neptude: Within reason, of course. The Sectuib in Zeor might be going a bit too far.
Arat: Deah has already agreed to it, for one thing.
Neptude waits for something more relevant to Deah's professional skills, and their application to this problem.
Arat wonders what else Neptude wants to hear.
Arat: Deah is a fine, competent Tecton channel who can satisfy him in transfer.
Arat: She won't do anything to make him fear the Tecton was a poor choice.
Neptude considers, then nods tentatively.
Arat: She also won't make the mistake of either controlling him too obviously, or allowing him to do anything foolish.
Neptude: As to this exclusive you are requesting... you feel that asking Reckage to accept a normal rotation would not be advisable at this time?
Arat: I do.
Arat: I don't say it's guaranteed to lose him, but I do think this way is guaranteed to keep him.
Neptude: Hmm. How long would the exclusive have to stay in place to be sure of him?
Jeniard wonders how anybody in their right mind could possibly doubt Arat is dead set on keeping Nick in the Tecton at this point.
Arat considers.
Arat: Two years would be ideal.
Arat knows that's asking too much.
Arat: A year and a half. [amends]
Arat will think of something else before then.
Neptude juggles the lesser value (and prestige) of keeping Nick in an exclusive with the unforeseen bonus of having Arat under the care of a Donor who apparently can tolerate him.
Jeniard thinks Neptude wouldn't have any trouble making this decision if he'd stop to think about all the 1st order Donors who'd be so much happier.
Neptude taps a thoughtful tentacle on the folder.
Neptude: Well, I'll read the details of your proposal over, but I'm inclined to go with it, at least for a while.
Arat's immense relief is evident to anybody who knows him well.
Arat hides it as best he can, however.
Neptude blinks, and reassess the assignment in terms of its possible effect on Arat.
Neptude decides to watch Arat very closely during Nick's absences.
Jeniard watches the interplay cynically.
Neptude turns to Jeniard, attracted by the cynicism.
Neptude: So, Jeniard, do you agree with Arat's assessment of the situation, or would you handle it differently?
Jeniard: It's healthier for him than what was happening before. However, I wouldn't let it go on as long as a year and a half.
Jeniard is, of course, talking about Arat rather than Nick.
Neptude: You feel there's a danger?
Neptude is well aware that Jeniard is concerned about Arat's benefit, while Arat will happily self-destruct if it would prove his loyalty to the Tecton.
Jeniard: There will be an attachment.
Jeniard thinks it needn't be said just how much of a pain in the ass that could be.
Neptude: A potentially dangerous one? How closely are you two matched, Arat?
Arat: Not very.
Arat shoots Jeniard a dirty look.
Arat: I over-rate him somewhat, and we aren't that well matched in other ways, although well enough.
Jeniard isn't sure Neptude deserves further explanation of what he meant, if he was too dense to catch it the first time around.
Jeniard isn't in a good mood.
Neptude has heard Arat describe Donors before, and is concerned about the glowing nature (comparatively speaking) of the description.
Neptude hesitates to bring up the possibility of an emotional attachment.
Jeniard lets his gaze wander off to some other part of the room.
Arat taps a tentacle on the arm of his chair, wishing the conversation would move along.
Arat: ~ tense ~
Neptude looks at Arat, letting his concern show.
Neptude: You really want to do this, don't you? Even knowing the risks. And not for the sake of the Tecton, either.
Arat looks away, clearly upset.
Arat: I... have some personal stake it. [forces himself to say]
Neptude nods sympathetically.
Neptude: Can you be objective enough about Reckage to make the kinds of decisions you're going to have to make?
Arat: Yes.
Arat looks back at Neptude.
Neptude nods, figuring that if Arat is unable to live up to this promise, Jeniard will no doubt let him know before the situation becomes critical.
Neptude has no intention of losing Jeniard's valuable insights while Arat is flirting with a dependency.
Neptude: Very well, then.
Neptude: What progress is Reckage making in achieving the polish to go with his nager?
Arat is visibly relieved by the change of topic.
Arat: He has made some progress. As I say, I have found him living accommodations that will not embarrass either himself or us, and I am working with him on manners and comportment. So far the only difficulties have been in the area of clothing and personal grooming, and I believe these can be overcome.
Arat believes, more precisely, that Nick's aggressive reaction to any threat to his clothes or hair is fueled by an innate Narosian tendency toward vanity, which can be harnessed.
Neptude: He likes looking like a tramp? I thought that was just the result of the life he'd been leading.
Neptude: With his background, I would have expected him to leap at the chance for a bit of elegance.
Neptude is referring to genetic background, of course, not social background.
Arat: Nick will require some time to adjust. It is not his desire to look good which is impaired, it is simple lack of experience. His life thus far has trained him in a different set of social rules.
Arat is trying to say that Nick thinks dressing like a greaser is cool.
Neptude: We can't have a First Order Donor dressing like a bum. Could you at least put him in uniform?
Arat has not mentioned his most significant advance to date: An exciting breakthrough in the area of Nick's extra tight original pair of pants, which met with a terrible calamity only this morning.
Arat: He has been working with me in uniform.
Arat is mildly indignant that Neptude could imagine otherwise.
Jeniard was actually the mastermind of the Pants Attack, which consisted of somebody on the roof lowering down a hook and line to steal Nick's pants as they sunned on a windowsill, making it appear that they were dislodged by a gust of wind.
Neptude: Well, of course. But can't you get him to wear something more appropriate outside of working hours, as well?
Arat: Yes.
Arat: I have been working on it.
Neptude: Ah, good.
Neptude: ~~ relief ~~
Neptude: We wouldn't want visitors to assume that we don't pay our Donors a living wage, after all.
Arat: If it is any assurance to you, I feel rather strongly on the issue of his appearance myself.
Neptude supposes so, as Arat is spending a great deal of time with his charge, and his exacting taste in such matters is well known.
Arat has gone so far as to attempt to calculate how many days it will take for Nick's bangs to grow back to where his hair looks remotely normal.
Neptude: Well, carry on, then. I'll try to process your request for the shared exclusive as expeditiously as possible, although these things can take time.
Arat nods.
Neptude: Particularly in this case, where the higher-ups are interested.
Arat finds it endlessly depressing that a relative newcomer like Nick can excite so much more interest than himself, who has served the Tecton loyally for 18 years.
Arat: Thank you.
see note 1
Nick has gotten up early, to leave him a bit of time to pack his belongings before he and Arat go on duty.
Nick doesn't anticipate that the task will take long, as he has rather few possessions at the moment.
Nick has not had much in the way of possessions for most of his adult life, so this does not disturb him unduly.
Nick is, however, unduly disturbed by the disappearance of his treasured pants from the window ledge, where he had placed them to air out.
Nick starts methodically taking the room apart, just in case housekeeping mislaid the pants when they changed the sheets.
Arat signals at Nick's door before walking in.
Arat has been by his office to check in, but otherwise is fresh out of Neptude's office and therefore not at his best.
Nick: Arat, have you seen my pants? They were right there, on the windowsill.
Nick is trying hard not to let his ~~ upset ~~ get too pervasive.
Arat's eyes dart to the windowsill.
Arat looks distinctly nervous, although this would probably be true of any Sime within range of Nick's projection.
Arat: No...?
Arat however, is a terrible liar and knows it.
Arat therefore begins to look somewhat sick as well.
Nick latches onto the odd behavior at once.
Nick: What happened to them?
Arat walks over to the window and looks out, down, along the building. The pants, of course, are nowhere to be seen.
Arat breathes in the fresh air, which is not exactly unpleasant, and takes in the view which is much more pleasant than what he has to tell Nick.
Arat steels himself and turns around to face Nick.
Arat: They're gone.
Nick: Gone?
Nick assumes that Arat wouldn't be so uneasy if the loss wasn't permanent.
Nick braces himself to hear the worst.
Arat: They were... stolen.
Nick: Stolen?
Arat: Yes.
Nick values his pants, but he knows enough about the used clothes market to know that they are worth exactly nothing on the used clothing market.
Nick: Why would anyone steal a pair of pants?
Arat walks away from the window, which is making him uncomfortable now, and sits on Nick's chair instead.
Arat: I did it because you would never have stopped wearing them otherwise.
Nick: You stole my pants?
Nick: ~~ betrayal ~~
Arat's discomfort about the theft vanishes in the face of his lack of understanding of the ~~betrayal~~.
Arat looks up at Nick.
Nick: Why?
Arat: Because you couldn't give them up on your own. To help you.
Nick: And why was it so necessary that I not have a comfortable pair of pants that you would stoop to theft to accomplish it?
Arat thinks it would be counterproductive to point out that they weren't comfortable at all, they were tight - which as Nick's Sime he knew perfectly well.
Arat: Nick, you can buy more pants. Good ones, that fit you, and are respectable, but still comfortable.
Nick: I was quite satisfied with the pants I had, and that I can now afford to replace them is beside the point.
Arat: Nick, it isn't healthy.
Arat: You mustn't wear clothes that are so old and ragged, it's bad for your self esteem.
Nick: And that justifies your becoming a thief?
Arat: Nick, whatever else you are, you are still my patient.
Arat: I must care for you and when I see you can't do something for yourself, I must do it for you.
Arat finds this conversation painful, but also necessary.
Arat: [the pain is not in the subject matter, but in Nick's emotional state]
Nick: What did you do to my pants?
Arat: Nick, we will not talk about the pants. I will talk about why I took them, but the pants themselves are gone.
Nick's half-formed plans for retrieving his beloved pants withers, along with his nager.
Nick: I see. ~~ dullness ~~
Nick goes and looks out of the window.
Arat studies his back.
Nick mourns the loss of the last vestige of his life with Snake. If you discount his nager, of course.
Arat clears his throat, after a considerable length of time.
Arat: I suppose, then, that I can tell you the news later.
Nick: What news?
Nick sounds more defeated than interested.
Arat, who has never in his life known a single shred of connection with a physical object, is sincerely amazed by the depth of Nick's Narosian emotional connection to his pair of pants.
Arat might suspect that most of the depression was actually over the loss of his channel, although it would be a leap because Arat has never associated possessions with people either.
Arat: [except, of course in the sense of the people themselves being possessions]
Arat: I had talked to my Regional Controller somewhat about your future. But perhaps we should wait to talk about this later, as I say.
Nick imagines a future without pants, and without Snake.
Nick slowly turns away from the window.
Nick: You might as well tell me.
Arat: He was anxious to hear how you are doing.
Arat: He wanted to discuss the possibility of you working with different channels.
Nick: I see.
Nick finds this news a bit less upsetting than it would have been before the theft.
Nick: Who did he have in mind?
Arat: He would like to see you in regular rotation, like most Donors.
Nick: Oh.
Arat studies Nick's reaction.
Nick is feeling more and more homesick for Snake.
Arat rises and goes over to Nick.
Arat: Nick, I know it feels lonely, but you are wanted here.
Arat: I want you, he wants you, every channel in the Tecton would love to spend time with you.
Arat: You aren't alone.
Arat by this time has figured out this is about Snake - not even a deranged rogue gets lonely for pants.
Nick: Oh, you've made it clear enough you want me. Or at least my nager, as long as it doesn't come wrapped in clothes that are too old, or a hairstyle that isn't neat, or with lower class habits.
Nick: By the time you've remodeled me to your liking, what will be left?
Nick sounds more lost than angry.
Arat reaches out and touches the nape of Nick's neck, gently.
Nick's nape is, of course, easily accessible since the hair which used to cover it was shaved off.
Arat: Nick... it may feel like that now, but you are more, and stronger, than that.
Arat: I - I requested that you be placed in a limited rotation between me and only one other channel. But if you would prefer, I will tell Controller Neptude you do not want to return to me.
Arat says this bravely, trusting in Nick's presumed "Donor instinct" to prevent the described calamity from occurring.
Nick's budding Donor instinct is deep in shock, which leaves his more long-established Companion instinct to notice that his channel is going to be a mess if something isn't done.
Nick's nager reaches out to Arat absentmindedly.
Nick is, of course, almost as much under the sway of his nager as nearby Simes, particularly when he isn't paying close attention to it.
Nick sighs.
Arat moves his hands to Nick's.
Nick: I'd rather work with you than a stranger.
Nick is being truthful, if not gracious about it.
Arat looks down, trying to hide his relief, without much success.
Arat: [for one thing, most living Gens can tell when their channel breaks out in a sweat and gets the shivers]
Arat: You can, Nick. For two months at a time, it is allowed.
Nick: And when the two months are up?
Arat: As I said, I have convinced Controller Neptude to put you in a two channel rotation. You would go there for two months, and then return here again. It is the best a person could possibly hope for, and the most anybody could be together without risking a dependency.
Arat's tone of voice begs subtly for Nick to understand that he has done all that can legally be done.
Nick: Oh. Who's the other channel?
Arat: Her name is Deah Tigue.
Nick is trying to summon at least the appearance of interest.
Nick: Tigue?
Arat: I went to school with her, in New Othwol. She is the City Controller there now.
Nick: I remember the name; your folder mentions it several times.
Arat nods.
Arat: We shared the position of New Othwol Controller until I was reassigned here.
Arat can't say it was a peaceful coexistence, but it was at least an equitable one.
Nick: What is she like?
Arat sounds just a little sad himself, not because he misses arguing with Deah, but because he sincerely misses the Controllership of the town he grew up in.
Arat: She is a good channel. Strong, confident, and a good Controller.
Nick: Do you like her?
Arat hesitates.
Arat: She saved my life.
Arat: A long time ago. It's not in any records anywhere.
Nick is beginning to deduce, with some relief, that the Tecton's voluminous records usually manage to miss all the really important incidents.
Nick: So you feel you owe her your Donor in exchange?
Arat: It isn't as simple as that.
Arat: But I do know her well, and I know that she will be holding that position for a long time, and that I will be holding this position for longer than I want, and that you could possibly have the same two channels for many years.
Nick: And who would take care of whichever channel I wasn't with at the moment?
Nick is a little dubious about being expected to look after two channels, after being run ragged sharing the responsibility for Snake with Rapol.
Arat looks down.
Arat: Others will be assigned, as they have been all along.
Arat doesn't mention Jeniard. Jeniard for him is a brutal necessity, one he doesn't speak of, and one he takes very much for granted. There will be no apologies for Jeniard when he picks him up again in Nick's absence.
Nick: The same sorts of temporary idiots who've been botching the job for so long?
Nick was able to pick that much up from Arat's file.
Arat: You are uniquely suited to serving a Farris. There aren't many who are.
Arat: Those others serve ordinary Firsts well enough.
Arat, despite his words, is gratified by Nick's comments!
Nick wonders then why his alternate isn't another Farris.
Nick: Well, I'll just have to see that they know how to handle you, then.
Arat squeezes Nick's hands.
see note 2
Nick leaves the food line in the cafeteria and pauses, searching for a table.
Jeniard is eating alone, reading a book.
Jeniard: ["Don't be a Doormat" by Emmet Tonker]
Nick makes his way over to Jeniard's table and pauses.
Nick: Do you mind if I sit here?
Jeniard looks up.
Jeniard's expression goes through several variations.
Jeniard: No, go ahead.
Nick sits next to Jeniard.
Nick: Good book?
Nick nods in the direction of Jeniard's reading matter.
Jeniard looks at what's in his hand as if he'd rather not admit he'd been reading it.
Jeniard: This? Somebody lent it to me.
Jeniard is always being lent self-help literature by well meaning and/or maliciously humorous friends, and the sad fact of the matter is, he's too busy to buy his own books so he ends up reading them.
Nick makes a noncommittal noise and spreads his napkin, letting a touch of ~~ Gen appetite ~~ show.
Jeniard dutifully picks up his half eaten sandwich.
Nick: I'm glad I found you here, Jeniard. I've been wanting a private talk with you.
Jeniard: Oh...?
Jeniard thinks Neptude will be pleased.
Jeniard tries to remember what it said back in chapter 4 about how he should feel.
Nick lets his ~~ appetite ~~ increase just a bit, as he takes a bite of pizza.
Jeniard puts down the book so he can hold his sandwich with two hands.
Nick: Yes. I understand that I'm to be sent to New Othwol for two months, after my transfer with Arat.
Jeniard: Yeah?
Nick: I'm a bit concerned about what is likely to happen to him in my absence.
Jeniard: Oh? [studies Nick a bit closer]
Jeniard's interest in the conversation has clearly doubled as the subject became known.
Nick: Yes. He wasn't in particularly good shape when we met, and I'm concerned that he might suffer a relapse.
Jeniard: It's possible. [admits]
Nick: From the reports by previous Donors in his folder, it's clear that most of them haven't had much luck with him. I was hoping that you could give me some insight into the problem.
Jeniard: What you saw was the result of years of problems. Arat can't be cured in two months, but the good you've done him probably can't be entirely erased in two months either.
Nick takes a contemplative sip of iced trin.
Nick: Perhaps not, but I was hoping to find a way for the progress to continue while I'm gone.
Nick: You've known Arat for a long time. Why does he have such a difficult time with his Donors?
Jeniard looks at Nick.
Nick thinks of Arat as a rather easy channel to work with, although of course, his experience is rather limited.
Jeniard: There are several reasons. It's a complex problem. Part of it was the way he grew up. His family had family Gens who acted as Donors to the members. If he can't trust a Donor like a family servant, then they don't feel like a real Donor to him.
Jeniard: The one he killed had been with the family since Unity.
Nick nods, very subtly ~~ encouraging ~~ Jeniard to continue.
Jeniard: Then there is the problem of his changeover and the way he came into Tecton service. It was a bad transition, nobody knew he was a Farris and nobody could believe him when he claimed he required a different environment and different behavior from those around him.
Nick: And he couldn't find a Donor to help him?
Jeniard: Farris grade Donors aren't easy to find, particularly in a school where there supposedly aren't any Farrises.
Nick: I see. ~~ thoughtful ~~
Jeniard: And of course, I am sure you have read all about his dependence on me.
Nick: Yes, I have.
Jeniard: That started around the same time, because I knew what he was going through, and I was sensitive enough to be able to provide what he couldn't find a Gen to help him with.
Nick studies Jeniard.
Nick: And you still help him, when he can't bring himself to trust his Donor?
Jeniard: If I have to.
Nick zlins far less condemning of the practice than most Tecton personnel would be, but then, rogues are by definition used to improvisational arrangements.
Nick: I gather that your superiors don't approve of it.
Nick had, in fact, read some eye-opening speculations and condemnations of the relationship in Arat's file.
Jeniard: They don't, but they put up with it because Arat in working condition is too valuable to lose. Where else could you find somebody who could hold this particular District together so well?
Jeniard forgets that Nick is not too familiar with the Tecton's history and geography.
Nick notes that Jeniard, at least, believes that Arat is not a typical Controller.
Nick: Keeping him in working condition is the key, then.
Nick: And that would be much easier for both of us, if he can be brought to accept what assistance his Donors are capable of offering.
Jeniard: Yes.
Jeniard: But you aren't the first to have thought of that. It's not as easy as it sounds.
Nick: Perhaps not.
Nick: However, he has made some progress in the past two months.
Nick: If nothing else, that proves it can be done.
Jeniard sees that Nick, like everybody else, thinks he is an idiot.
Jeniard: Oh.
Nick: I realize that Arat has been under pressure to... make himself agreeable to me.
Jeniard: I was wondering if you knew.
Nick: You have seem him working with other Donors. Some of them must have been good enough to handle him. What triggers the problem?
Jeniard: It is mainly that they see the relationship differently than he does.
Jeniard: They assume that their assignment provides them automatically with familiarity.
Jeniard: You succeeded largely because Arat sees you as a patient, not a Donor, and you are willing to accept him as a teacher as well as a channel.
Nick: Hmmm.
Jeniard: Most Donors approach Arat as somebody they should have been buddies with, except they know in advance he's an unpleasant assignment, so they arrive resentful.
Jeniard: The slightest hint of insubordination drives him wild.
Nick wishes really wishes that Arat had been briefing him on the finer nuances of etiquette between channels and Donors, rather than how to carry on polite conversation at dinner parties. 3
Jeniard thinks the biggest difficulty is that Arat seems to feel, gut level, most comfortable in a position of extreme discomfort, and therefore is never happy unless he's suffering, and will always choose self-sacrifice when thwarted in what he needs.
Nick: Perhaps it would help if my replacement was expected to learn something from Arat, as well as provide him with support?
Nick: If the person came expecting to be a student, it might provide a more acceptable footing.
Nick is sure that some suitable teaching material can be found; after all, Arat is a Farris.
Jeniard: You don't understand. They already resent being assigned to him enough without having that put on them.
Jeniard suspects such an experiment would result in a lot of very sarcastic behavior on the part of the Donor.
Nick: Have you any idea who in particular will be assigned?
Nick usually finds it easier to work with particulars, rather then generalities.
Jeniard: I don't know.
Nick: Who are the likely candidates?
Jeniard: I don't know, Nick, it's a little early yet, and so much depends on the Controllers' plans for Arat.
Nick puts a hand lightly on Jeniard's wrist.
Jeniard looks at him, surprised by the touch.
Nick: I know that you're not the type to spread gossip, and believe me, I can really appreciate that after living a few months at Naros.
Nick: However, I also know that you have been keeping Arat sane for years, and that you've both been paying a heavy price for that.
Nick: Please, I'm not you enemy, Jeniard.
Nick: It's going to take both of us to get him past this problem.
Nick: Help me find a way.
Nick manges to show Jeniard his sincerity without blasting it all over the room.
Jeniard: I'm not surprised you see me as the obstacle here, Nick. Most people do.
Nick shakes his head impatiently.
Nick: I don't look on you as the problem--you're the solution Arat grabbed onto when he couldn't make anything else work.
Jeniard: And it isn't as if things aren't being tried, all the time.
Nick: Yes, but they don't seem to be working very well.
Jeniard: If you start something that isn't coordinated with Controller Neptude's attempts to help him, you could do more harm than good.
Nick: I'm aware of that.
Nick isn't used to having an outside party interfere in his handling of his channel, but then, Arat isn't really his.
Nick: However, before I can worry about coordination, I have to have a plan that has some chance of success.
Jeniard: How can you just assume that what Neptude has in his mind right now won't work?
Jeniard had thought Neptude had done well in assigning Arat to Nick in the first place.
Nick: Is it likely to be something radically different from what has been tried in the past?
Jeniard looks at Nick suspiciously.
Jeniard doesn't realize he learned the look from Arat.
Nick: Do you really feel that doing nothing is the best course?
Jeniard: Nothing?
Jeniard: Who said anything about nothing?
Nick blinks, trying to sort out that sentence.
Jeniard: All I'm saying is that you can't just shoot off, you've got to work with the other people around Arat too.
Jeniard: And you've got to do it with the full knowledge and cooperation of Arat's Controller, who is the one in charge of his health right now.
Nick had rather hoped that Jeniard would be willing to take on the Controller-liaison part of the effort, since after all, he's the one who has actually pledged.
Jeniard: It's part of what being in an organization is all about.
Jeniard: Working together.
Nick: Exactly. You are the only person who has actual, first-hand knowledge of how Arat's Donor problems developed.
Jeniard pauses.
Jeniard: Exactly?
Jeniard doesn't see how what Nick said follows at all.
Nick: And therefore any workable solution must involve you.
Jeniard: Well, yes, I'm usually in on the discussions, but....
Jeniard more accurately usually sits silently, being ignored and/or disdained during them, but he is sitting there.
Nick: But you do more listening than talking?
Nick: ~~ sympathy ~~
Jeniard: There is much in this that talking about it too much would only make worse.
Jeniard for example wouldn't have said anything to Nick at all about this, particularly the earliest part of the conversation, if he didn't know Arat trusted Nick to an unprecedented degree.
Nick: And you find that your suggestions aren't taken seriously if you can't give your reasons, because to do so would be to betray confidences?
Nick rather approves of Jeniard's respect for confidentiality.
Jeniard: I have a lot of respect for Controller Neptude.
Nick: I've only met the man once, briefly.
Nick: You feel that he will do what is best for Arat, if he can figure out what it is?
Jeniard: Nobody gets into the position he's been in without having spent years, decades, healing and helping people - and managing them.
Jeniard: And his Controller has done so for even longer.
Jeniard: It was Controller Seruffin, Neptude's Controller, who assigned Arat to you.
Nick hadn't heard the details before.
Nick: Isn't that a bit unusual?
Nick: To have Controller Neptude's assignment rearranged at the last minute?
Jeniard: In emergencies, anything is possible.
Jeniard: Such things must happen all the time, it's inevitable. In a system this size, there is always somewhere some selyn must go, and quickly, to cover.
Nick wonders how much of an emergency it would take to break his exclusive with Arat and Deah.
Nick: You make the Tecton sound like a giant improvisation that never really got fine-tuned.
Nick was raised to think of the Tecton as the measure of stability and dependability, and finds this new view of it disturbing.
Jeniard: Not at all. For every channel like Arat, there are literally thousands of renSimes and lesser channels, and as many different Gens. 90%, or more, of a month's schedule is entirely routine. People go about their lives secure in the knowledge that they are not exceptions to any rules.
Jeniard: But when a First Order channel is injured, or his assigned Donor comes down with a critical illness, changes must be made. A balance must be maintained.
Jeniard: Think of the chain of responsibility. If a channel had to leave her post because a Donor could not be sent there for her, what of the hundreds of people she is supposed to be serving?
Jeniard: The higher up on the pyramid you go, the fewer people exist who are interchangeable, and the more often and the more drastic the compromises must be.
Jeniard: Personal compromises - to ensure that the public is safe.
Nick, as one of the 10% of on the high part of the pyramid, finds Jeniard's explanation about 90% reassuring.
Jeniard: The Tecton is designed, fundamentally, to protect the average people. Not the Arats of the world. Not even you.
Nick: So what sort of personnel compromise is most likely to keep Arat in good condition while I'm gone?
Jeniard knows it will all come down to his being present, inevitably.
Nick: If most of the potential Donors are likely to arrive viewing Arat as a punishment, perhaps that is the place to start?
Jeniard: I don't think "punishment" is the right word.
Jeniard thinks "chore" is closer to it.
Jeniard: Nick, I'm not going to cooperate with you if you plan on going off half cocked on some private plan.
Jeniard: That's not how this has to be handled.
Jeniard: Neptude and Seruffin will distrust you and Arat -
Jeniard shudders as he envisions what a suitably non-restrained Arat would be like after discovering Nick had tried something behind his back.
Nick nods in agreement.
Jeniard: If you just want to discuss an idea privately before going through the proper channels, that's different.
Nick: If following protocol will forestall trouble, I'm all for it. It's results I'm after, not the method.
Jeniard isn't convinced Nick is entirely sincere in that, but doesn't doubt Nick cares for Arat, at least on a Donor-channel level. Jeniard doesn't believe Nick gives a fig for Arat on a personal level.
Nick: Have you any ideas which might help Arat's next Donor handle him?
Jeniard: I don't know, it would really depend on who it was. A lot of the time he gets one of the same four. They have a lot of previous experience with him, and it's affected the way they work.
Jeniard: There was another, Beni, who he was supposed to have these two months. He hadn't worked with Arat much before and was still flexible.
Jeniard thinks maybe a little too flexible, but at least he tried.
Nick: So this Beni would be a better choice than the other four?
Nick: Or someone like him?
Jeniard: Nick, there aren't an unlimited supply of Donors that can reasonably serve Arat.
Jeniard: Quite likely one will be chosen simply because he or she can physically get here in time.
Nick: I realize that.
Nick: However, we have to start somewhere.
Nick sips at his now-cold tea.
Jeniard: But yes, I think somebody who hadn't already been working with him for years, and more importantly hadn't had his ear filled first, would do better than someone who already doesn't like working with him.
Jeniard looks glum as he says it, mainly because Arat usually manages to convert the former to the latter on short order.
Nick: So in your opinion, the contents of Arat's file are likely to prejudice any suitable candidate against him?
Jeniard: Yes, but that isn't usually what decides it.
Jeniard: It's Arat himself, he does have a problem with how he relates to Donors.
Nick leans forward, paying full ~~ attention ~~ to Jeniard's words.
Nick: I'd gathered that he was not treating me the same way he treats his normal Donors. Something about a betting pool among the staff?
Jeniard groans internally at the mention of the pool.
Jeniard: No. You haven't seen the real Arat at all.
Nick: I haven't?
Jeniard thinks, rather, Nick has caught a glimpse of what Arat can be when driven to it by his sense of duty.
Jeniard: It's because you're his patient. He's treating you the way he treats the people he's healing.
Nick: Who is the real Arat, then?
Jeniard isn't sure he should be talking about this with Nick.
Jeniard glances over his shoulder to make sure there haven't been well insulated eavesdroppers listening in on them.
Jeniard turns back to Nick.
Jeniard: Arat's view of the world is... well, let's just say it's very dark.
Nick considers this the normal state for a channel.
Jeniard: His parents were on the run when he was a child, and he almost died after changeover. He sees the world - not the people in it, but the world itself - as trying to pull him down, like he's always falling into darkness. Or sinking.
Nick nods.
Jeniard: Living, then, is a process of trying to stay alive.
Jeniard: Trying to stay alive, for him, means demonstrating that he is alive.
Jeniard: He shows the world that he isn't weak, that he isn't safe to attack.
Nick: And is it during these demonstrations that he runs into trouble with his Donors?
Jeniard looks at Nick oddly.
Jeniard: I'm not talking about periodic episodes, or just something that comes up suddenly.
Jeniard: This is Arat's entire outlook. Every minute of every day, he feels like he's fighting to keep his head above water.
Nick: That would take a big toll on anyone.
Jeniard: It's also the source of most of his anger.
Jeniard: He's angry at people for not understanding him, for having a different, more positive view of the world, and many times, for even existing.
Nick: Does he get angry at his Donors?
Nick: For what they consider insufficient reasons?
Jeniard: Yes, quite often.
Jeniard: He becomes furious when they don't understand him, or don't believe him.
Jeniard: A lot of Donors think he demands more support than he should require.
Jeniard: Or they take his anger personally, not realizing it is just how he is.
Nick: There is a standard amount of support a Donor is supposed to give?
Jeniard: There is a customary amount.
Jeniard: Most channels do not require heavy support when they are not working, ill, or in difficult ambient conditions.
Jeniard thinks, in fact, that most channels would be driven bat-crazy by it.
Jeniard: Anyway, they misinterpret it, as trying to control them, or punishing them, or something.
Jeniard: Once the enmity has been established, everything can be misinterpreted in this way.
Nick considers.
Nick: So, it is necessary to find a way to convince Arat not to get so angry at his Donors, and to convince the Donors to provide him the support he requires.
Jeniard: You are always so quick to oversimplify.
Jeniard sighs.
Jeniard: I know, you want to fix his problems. Who wouldn't, in your position?
Nick: I know that it's gone on far too long to be cured instantly.
Jeniard: One of the best things you can do for Arat right now is to pledge to the Tecton and make sure you are back here in two months so he has something he can look forward to.
Nick's nager zlins ~~ conflicted ~~
Nick: I can't, Jeniard. At least, not yet.
Jeniard looks at Nick, looking somewhat horrified.
Jeniard: Not even before you leave?
Nick: Not until I can trust that it really is capable of caring for its channels and Donors.
Jeniard sits back, looking privately appalled.
Jeniard: So that's why you're so worried about what happens in between.
Nick nods.
Jeniard had been thinking in terms of long term development: Now he fears Nick was approaching him about damage control.
Jeniard: Does he know yet? No, he can't know yet.
Jeniard: The last time I talked to him he was sure you were on the verge of pledging.
Nick blinks.
Nick: I told him I was willing to try this arrangement he worked out with Controller Neptude.
Nick: And I am.
Jeniard: But that arrangement was made with the assumption that you would pledge.
Jeniard still looks, and sounds, horrified as the full extent of what he is, personally, in for continues to unfold in his mind.
Jeniard: Nobody would schedule a rogue Donor in an exclusive with two Controllers.
Jeniard: Think of the people, everybody who depends on them. Think of the risk! And without your pledge?
Nick: Jeniard, calm down. I simply have to become better acquainted with the Tecton before I can pledge to it.
Nick: In the mean time, I want to ensure that my work with Arat won't be destroyed before I can get back to him.
Jeniard: It's easy enough to tell me to calm down, but what is this going to do to him? Do you have any idea how important your pledging is to him?
Nick: I've gathered that it's important enough to Arat--and to his superiors--that they'd rather wait until I can offer my pledge sincerely.
Jeniard: They're not going to send you to Othwol this way.
Jeniard accidentally uses the town's old name, an accident he picked up from Arat.
Nick: Would you rather I pledge without meaning it?
Jeniard shakes his head, looking as if gloom and doom are descending upon him.
Nick: Then I will do as I must, and the Controllers will decide if that is sufficient.
Notes:
1) Some time passes between these two scenes. [return]
2) This next scene was actually played two days later, on 5/27/99. However, it was "lost" for some time and not found again until dozens of subsequent episodes had already been posted and numbered. So, although it was originally an episode in and of itself, it is now being appended to this episode as an additional scene. Assume about two days have passed. [return]
3) "Nick wishes really wishes... parties" This line implies that Arat has not taken Nick's education as a Donor seriously. That is certainly not the case. [return]